Sex and the City : 30something, Single, & Dating in Atlanta

2015-05-06 13.00.31Now that I am in my 30s, I’ve come to a sad realization that I’m not Carrie Bradshaw (although we are very similar – in my head). It’s not that Carrie made dating look easy – because I literally cried when Burger broke up with her on post-it – but it just doesn’t seem as promising to date in real life. And I hope that that doesn’t sound jaded, because I don’t think that I am. Have I gone out on interesting dates? Yes. With interesting stories to tell afterwards? Yes. Have I had great dates? Yes. And horrible dates too.

This whole idea of dating has been on my heart the past few weeks, because I’ve literally had 3 single women, 1 woman in a relationship, and 1 single man express their frustration with dating in Atlanta. For me, dating is when two people that are interested in each other, meet socially to get to know one another and determine if they want to pursue a relationship together – Pursue a relationship that eventually leads to a long term, monogamous commitment. When dating, you bring your best foot forward and a first impression means EVERYTHING. In my opinion, there is this vicious lack of dating cycle rolling around. I’m literally visualizing a wheel, rolling thru the city with spokes that say things like: lack of effort, distrust, ill intentions. I’m not sure if it started with women or men, but it seems like we don’t want to really date anymore. Men don’t want to spend money on a date that might not materialize or they’ve been taken advantage of financially?? — actually, I’ll stop there – because honestly, I can’t speak for why some men don’t truly date anymore. I can only speak to why I’ve been declining ‘dates’ more often as I get older. The social aspect of dating is hella important to me, because I don’t know you!! You are a stranger to me and being a single woman, I have to look out for myself; my safety; my well-being. I don’t want to come to your house. I don’t want to meet you at your friend’s party or family’s bbq when I don’t know you. I’m not asking for an extravagant social outing – just a public place to chill and feel each other out. And for me, take me anywhere that has pizza and I will love you for life, lol. But seriously, don’t ask me out on a date when you have not taken a second to think about what that date would entail. Impress me. And I’m only asking you for this because its what I would/do give as well.

Is that old fashioned? I was told that my standards are too high, but I was also told by the same woman that we should settle because won’t find love in our 30s. Her argument is that we’ve taken care of ourselves this long, what would be the point of a man coming along? Oy. When I tell you, my friends (And I’m guilty of it at times too!) are so dismal about finding love in this city! Its disheartening sometimes. I guess the hippie/fairy tale/happy ending in me kinda feels like, when I’m meant to meet the man that I’ll spend the rest of my life with, I’ll meet him. Simple as that. I am happy being single. Happy meaning : I’m not mad about where the good lord is keeping me at this stage in my life, but just because I’m happy doesn’t mean that I don’t crave more – because I do. It’s a craving so strong that I refuse to settle and I don’t know what that means for me 5 years from now, 10 years from now – but I’m just going to enjoy the journey … and stop watching Sex and the City reruns…

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One comment

  1. Although I’m not single anymore, I agree that dating in Atlanta is difficult. But definitely don’t lower your standards. Asking to actually go on a date is not asking too much. I think if you continue to put yourself out there the right person will come along!

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